The Devil's Rejects

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Summary:
The police raid the Firefly house, and some of the family escapes and go on yet more murderous rampages, endless banter, and more music video-styled stylization.

Review:
Did you like House of a Thousand Corpses? Well, then, you'll like this one, too. I fucking HATED H1kC, and so I figured I'd give Rob Zombie one more shot at directorial redemption. Both of these movies are one of those "love it" or "hate it" flicks.
There's so much that I detest about Devil's Rejects that I'm not sure I should even say anything. It's violent. I like gore. But then again, I think it's more appealing if there's an involving story to go with it. I have no interest in any of these people from frame one. The cop that goes out on a personal quest for vengeance tries so hard to be badass - in direction and storytelling - that there's no way in hell you can relate to him. Almost every line that's spewed out by the cast is asking to be quoted by the fans of Rejects. In fact, little of what they say propels the story into any forward motion or direction. It's all worthless babble, and not only that, the babble isn't even clever or whitty.
The soundtrack... I don't even like that, and I love rock of the 70s! Playing "Free Bird" in the end was so boring and tedious, with an obvious conclusion being led into by the time the guitar solos kick in, that I actually for the first time in my life didn't even want to listen to the fucking song. I just wanted everything to end. It's not clever playing music while everyone moves around in extreme slow motion. It's not clever attempting to show humanity just before the end credits to these remorseless killers, when the whole entire time through BOTH movies they show no true emotions. Never once was I convinced that the Firefly family was worth giving sympathy to.
Suspense? There was none. Clever camerawork? Sure, a little bit, but I think Rob Zombie spent too much time watching From Dusk Till Dawn 2 and saying "Woah. I'm going to try to be clever like that." Typically a movie that tries too hard to be neat with cinematography has no story to back it up. This is a perfect example of attempted style with no substance. After the slow motion musical interludes, we're inundated with shuddery camera and lots of screaming. This is to show the true horror of the moment. I guess. I don't know for sure. All it did was make me scream aloud with them, because I wanted to leave the theater.

It's got one thing going for it. At least it's not a remake. Then again, it sort of is, seeing as how it's a rip-off clone of the late 70s to early 80s slasher flicks. So that kind of cancels out the originality factor.
I say, to hell with Devil's Rejects. Fuck Rob Zombie, fuck this movie, and fuck this shit in its' stupid ass. I would reject this shit like a barium enema. The end.

GRADE: F

Reviewed 7/27/05